How do you trust that you will fall pregnant in the end?
When I was 25, I went to a psychic. It was way before I was ready to have children, in fact, I was single at the time. But the one question I asked, was, how many children will I have?
For a lot of us, the idea of a family and what it will look like is something we’ve been carrying with us our whole lives. It’s imprinted in our DNA.
And that is why infertility is so hard (among other reasons of course!).
That picture we have in our head has been there for so long, that we can’t comprehend what our future looks like any differently. And all of a sudden we’re forced to contemplate a life where we may not even be able to get pregnant.
Another one of the most difficult parts of the fertility journey is not knowing the outcome. We’re afraid that all the blood, sweat, tears, and money spent on IVF, IUI, and other fertility treatments will be for nothing. If we just knew that it would all work out in the end, it would stop us from tossing and turning at night. It would provide us with HOPE and comfort. And on this journey, hope is hard to come by.
In my 5-step coaching program, the final step is ACCEPTANCE AND TRUST. This is the key to where you will find peace on this journey. But, it’s also the hardest concept to grasp and achieve.
Most of us are taught from a young age that hard work provides results. And a lot of the time, that’s true. I studied hard at school and got good grades. I studied hard at university and got a good job. I worked hard at my job and got promoted time and time again. This is the pattern we’re used to.
So, someone telling you to step back and hand over control to god, the universe, or whatever higher power you believe in, is completely unnatural.
When you’ve experienced trauma, whether it’s abuse as a child, suffering a miscarriage, losing a baby, or an unfaithful partner, TRUST doesn’t come easy.
But if you cannot lean into TRUST and ACCEPTANCE, you will never be truly free. You will always be carrying something around on your shoulders. Even when you get your baby on board. There will still be an element of fear of the uncertainty around whether you will carry to term. Life is filled with uncertainty. There will always be pain. But knowing that you will be ok no matter what the outcome, is where you can find peace.
Remember INNER PEACE? It used to be a buzz word and the thing that we searched for more than anything else. It seems to have fallen off the radar. But in order to feel that lightness, hope, and confidence in our path, we need to lighten the load of fear, expectations, uncertainty, and the need to control everything around us.
You can use affirmations to help you let go of the uncertainty and learn how to trust. Release the timeframe in which you want or need this to happen. Let go of that picture you have in your head of how your path to pregnancy looks. Visualise yourself 10 years from now and allow yourself to dream – what does your life look like?
Sometimes we just need someone to tell us that everything is going to be ok. For me, it came in the form of a psychic. It also had a lot to do with my deep belief that I would eventually become a mum. That’s what got me up after every setback. That’s what kept me moving forward.
If you’d like to hear more about how to move into the space of inner connection and trust, and how to shift out the fear of the unknown, you don’t want to miss the interview I had with Elaine Lopez-Bogard. Elaine is a fertility Shaman who provides spiritual and holistic healing solutions. She helps women communicate with the soul of their unborn baby as well as look at the spiritual root causes of infertility and pregnancy loss.